Summary: New research shows that upstream reciprocity — the impulse to “pay it forward” — appears by around four years of age. In experiments, 80% of three-year-olds declined to share, while about 60% of four-year-olds willingly passed along rewards to another child.
Source: University of Virginia
When do children begin to pay kindness forward?
Small acts of unexpected kindness — a driver paying your toll, or a stranger covering a coffee tab — can trigger a chain of generosity. Psychologists call this tendency upstream reciprocity, and a new set of studies from the University of Virginia traces when it first appears in children. The findings indicate that the pay-it-forward mentality is clearly present by age four, while most three-year-olds do not yet exhibit this behavior.
Method: sticker-sharing experiments with preschoolers
Researchers conducted two studies that used a simple, age-appropriate task involving colorful animal stickers. In the first study, individual three- and four-year-old children entered a room and saw a transparent, locked box holding five attractive stickers. The experimenter explained that another child — described to the participant as a previous helper — had left a note telling where the key to the box was hidden in the room. After locating the key, opening the box and taking their stickers, each child was asked whether they would like to share some stickers with a new child who would come in afterward.
The results were striking: a majority of three-year-olds (80%) chose not to share, while about 60% of four-year-olds gave stickers to the next child. The lead researcher, graduate psychology student Stefen Beeler-Duden, describes this sharing behavior as upstream reciprocity — giving to someone else after having received help oneself.
What motivates four-year-olds to pass kindness on?
To understand why four-year-olds were more likely than three-year-olds to share, a second study probed the emotional processes behind the behavior. Drawing on a cognitive model of emotions, the researcher separated gratitude into two components: (1) recognition of the gift itself and (2) recognition and positive evaluation of the benefactor’s actions. According to this view, true gratitude depends not only on enjoying the gift but also on appreciating the helper’s intention and actions.
In a replication of the sticker experiment with a new group of four-year-olds, children were asked to evaluate the previous helper — called “Sally” in the experiment — by judging whether she was good, bad or just okay. Children who rated Sally more positively were also more likely to share stickers with the next child. These results suggest that a gratitude-like emotional reaction, which includes a favorable evaluation of the helper, contributes to the emergence of upstream reciprocity at this age.
Interpreting the age difference
The study’s authors suggest several reasons why four-year-olds show more upstream reciprocity than three-year-olds. Four-year-olds appear better able to process the dual elements of gratitude: they both notice receiving something pleasant and recognize that the other person acted kindly on their behalf. In contrast, three-year-olds may not be fully tuned to those distinct components. The researchers also note that the sticker task involved multiple steps and details to track, which might have been demanding for some younger participants.
Importantly, the results argue that sharing in four-year-olds is not driven simply by feeling good after receiving a gift. Instead, the findings point to a gratitude-like mechanism that includes evaluating the helper positively and then translating that evaluation into generous behavior toward an innocent third party.
Implications and conclusions
These experiments clarify when upstream reciprocity first emerges and what motivates it in early childhood. By showing that a gratitude-like response is associated with paying kindness forward, the research helps explain the psychological roots of prosocial chains of behavior. Understanding these early-developing social emotions can inform how caregivers and educators nurture generosity and reciprocal kindness in young children.
Source: University of Virginia
Media contact:
Jane Kelly – University of Virginia
Image credit:
Dan Addison, University Communications
Original research (citation):
“Paying it forward: The development and underlying mechanisms of upstream reciprocity.” Stefen Beeler-Duden, Amrisha Vaish. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology. doi: 10.1016/j.jecp.2019.104785
Abstract summary:
Two studies examined when and why children show upstream reciprocity. Study 1 tested 3- and 4-year-olds (40 children per age group) who either received or did not receive help during a game; subsequently children could share stickers with another child. Four-year-olds who had been helped were more generous toward the new child, while three-year-olds did not show this pattern. Study 2 (N = 46) replicated the effect in four-year-olds and found evidence for a gratitude-like motivation: children who received help evaluated the helper more positively, and positive evaluations correlated with sharing. The studies indicate that upstream reciprocity emerges by age four and may be driven in part by a gratitude-related process.