Summary: Researchers analyzed data from more than 200 adult couples and found that adverse childhood experiences create a subtle, cumulative “wear and tear” that undermines an adult’s ability to sustain a romantic relationship. People with higher adversity scores show more difficulty with everyday communication, affection, and conflict management, which lowers relationship satisfaction for themselves and often for their partners. The study’s authors emphasize that couples can protect and rebuild their bonds by treating daily interactions as deposits into a relational “bank account.”
Key Facts
- The Wear and Tear of Adversity: Participants reported childhood experiences up to age 18, including repeated parental yelling, physical shoving, food insecurity, and other stressful events. Higher adversity scores were linked to greater adult loneliness, depression, and chronic anxiety.
- The Relational Bank Account Analogy: Lead author Analisa Arroyo compares small, consistent acts of care to deposits in a bank account. These daily interactions—brief attention, small gestures of affection, reliable communication—build emotional reserves that help couples withstand stress. Without those reserves, relationships lack the resources to recover from crises.
- The Hidden Root of Conflict: Co-author Evin Richardson notes that couples often focus on the immediate argument or communication breakdown, overlooking deeper biological and psychological triggers rooted in childhood trauma. Treating these underlying causes, not just the visible symptoms, is essential for lasting improvement.
- Maintenance Breakdown: Adults carrying unresolved childhood trauma frequently struggle with the routine behaviors that maintain healthy relationships: showing regular affection, communicating clearly, and navigating disagreements calmly.
- Gender Differences in Impact: The study revealed distinct patterns by gender:
- Maternal/Female Pathway: Women with high childhood adversity were more likely to develop mental health problems that lowered their relationship satisfaction and also reduced their partner’s satisfaction.
- Paternal/Male Pathway: Men who reported depression or anxiety linked to childhood trauma experienced reduced satisfaction in their own view of the relationship, but their partner’s satisfaction was not significantly affected.
- Healing Through Communication: Although childhood events cannot be changed, improving daily communication and relationship maintenance skills can counteract the long-term effects of trauma. Couples therapy, relationship education, and consistent practice of small, supportive behaviors can make a relationship a place of recovery and resilience.
Source: University of Georgia
Traumatic events in childhood can continue to affect adult romantic relationships, according to new research from the University of Georgia.
Adverse childhood experiences—such as abuse, neglect, parental separation, or loss—raise the risk of depression and anxiety later in life. This study shows those psychological consequences can also influence how people behave in intimate relationships, often resulting in lower relationship satisfaction.
“Investing in a relationship with everyday actions is like putting money in a bank account,” said Analisa Arroyo, lead author and professor in UGA’s Franklin College of Arts and Sciences. “Those small things we do daily build trust, connection and support over time. When we haven’t built up those reserves, it’s like not having enough money when your car breaks down—you’re stuck.”
Arroyo and colleagues found that strengthening everyday relationship skills can lessen the harmful effects of childhood adversity and improve couple functioning.
How childhood adversity undermines communication and care
The research team analyzed responses from over 200 opposite-sex couples who participated in UGA’s ELEVATE program, a free relationship education initiative provided by University of Georgia Cooperative Extension.
Each partner reported on negative experiences during childhood through age 18 and identified how many adverse incidents they endured. Higher counts of adversity—such as persistent parental yelling, physical aggression, or repeated hunger—were associated with greater adult loneliness, depression, and anxiety.
“Childhood adversity creates a kind of wear and tear that often goes unnoticed in daily life,” Arroyo said. “Over time, that chronic stress can affect not only our own well-being but the health of our relationships as well.”
“It’s not only the big … heart-to-hearts that matter. It’s the really small, everyday interactions.” — Analisa Arroyo, Franklin College of Arts & Sciences
People with more childhood adversity reported struggles with routine relationship behaviors—maintaining everyday communication, expressing affection, and managing conflict. These deficits translated into lower overall relationship quality for couples who lacked consistent supportive interactions.
“When couples experience relationship problems, it’s easy to focus only on what’s happening in the moment,” said Evin Richardson, co-author and assistant research scientist in UGA’s College of Family and Consumer Sciences. “But our research suggests that, for many people, those challenges may have deeper roots. Recognizing those connections helps couples and professionals address underlying issues, not just surface symptoms.”
Gender differences shape how feelings affect relationship quality
The study found that women who reported greater childhood adversity were more likely to develop psychosocial problems that lowered both their own and their partner’s relationship satisfaction. For men, trauma-related depression or anxiety tended to affect only their personal perception of the relationship without significantly changing their partner’s satisfaction.
“We can’t change our childhood experiences,” Arroyo said, “but we can learn how they continue to influence us. That awareness gives couples a chance to support one another and build healthier patterns.”
“We can’t change our childhood experiences. But we can understand how they continue to influence us.” — Analisa Arroyo
The authors recommend that couples practice everyday supportive behaviors through couples counseling or relationship education programs to strengthen their bond. For individuals with significant trauma or chronic stress, personalized support such as individual therapy can also help them understand how past experiences shape current interactions and how to form healthier relational habits.
In a healthy, supportive relationship, partners can aid each other’s recovery from trauma by consistently modeling safety, empathy, and reliable connection.
The study was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships and lists co-authors Ted Futris, director of UGA’s Couple and Relationship Enrichment Laboratory, and alumni Rachel Brown and Abigail Gilbert.
Key Questions Answered:
A: Analisa Arroyo explains that building a healthy relationship resembles managing a bank account. Big conversations matter, but tiny, consistent interactions—greeting your partner, listening, brief affection—are the deposits that accumulate trust and connection. Without those daily deposits, a relationship lacks the emotional reserves needed to survive major stress.
A: Childhood adversity produces chronic, often invisible stress on the nervous system. When early life is marked by unpredictability, hunger, or regular yelling, the brain prioritizes survival and defense. As adults, people who adapted that way can find routine relationship maintenance—soft affection, calm conflict resolution, clear communication—uncomfortable or overwhelming.
A: The study found a gender difference: women’s trauma-related mental health problems tended to lower both their own and their partner’s relationship satisfaction, while men’s trauma-related distress tended to influence only their own view of the relationship, leaving their partner’s satisfaction largely unchanged.
Editorial Notes:
- This article was edited by a Neuroscience News editor.
- Journal paper reviewed in full.
- Additional context added by staff.
About this psychology and childhood trauma research news
Author: Savannah Peat
Source: University of Georgia
Contact: Savannah Peat, University of Georgia
Image: The image is credited to Neuroscience News
Original Research: Open access. “Adverse Childhood Experiences, Psychosocial Problems, and Relationship Quality in Romantic Couples: Relationship Maintenance Skills as an Interpersonal Resource” by Analisa Arroyo et al., Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. DOI: 10.1177/02654075261445143
Abstract
Adverse Childhood Experiences, Psychosocial Problems, and Relationship Quality in Romantic Couples: Relationship Maintenance Skills as an Interpersonal Resource
Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) have enduring negative effects that extend into adult relationship outcomes. Guided by the Couple Adaptation to Traumatic Stress Model and resilience and relational load theory, this study identifies routine relationship maintenance skills as an interpersonal resource that mediates the link between psychosocial problems and couple relationship quality.
Data from 212 opposite-sex romantic couples showed that ACEs were indirectly associated with relationship quality. At the intrapersonal level, each partner’s ACE score related to their own psychosocial problems, which then related to weaker relationship maintenance skills and poorer relationship quality. At the interpersonal level, women’s ACE scores were linked to their partner’s relationship quality through women’s increased psychosocial problems and reduced relationship maintenance skills.
The findings underscore the value of multiple perspectives for understanding how childhood adversity shapes communication and long-term relational outcomes, and they highlight relationship maintenance skills as a promising target for intervention.