Summary: Regret is a universal human experience, but how we process it changes with age. New research shows that older adults report fewer recent regrets and experience them with less emotional intensity than younger adults.
Although people of all ages tend to carry a similar number of long-term regrets, older adults describe those regrets with far less anger and frustration. The findings suggest that aging often brings a tempering effect, turning regret from a source of distress into an opportunity for reflection and meaning-making.
Key Research Findings
- Frequency vs. Intensity: In a sample spanning ages 21–89, older adults reported fewer recent regrets (within the past year) and characterized these regrets with lower emotional intensity.
- The “Missed Chance” Bias: Older participants were more likely to regret inaction—opportunities they did not take—rather than regretting actions they took.
- Emotional Resilience: While long-term regret counts were similar across ages, older adults experienced less physiological and psychological distress when recalling those regrets.
- Shift in Purpose: For younger adults, regret often functions as a course-correction mechanism to guide future choices. For older adults, regret more commonly becomes a tool for reflection and for finding meaning in life events.
- Sense of Control: A central factor in reduced negativity was perceived controllability—specifically, the ability to change one’s emotional response to a past decision, even when the decision itself cannot be undone.
Source: APA
Older adults report fewer recent regrets than younger adults, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.
The study also shows that although older and younger adults list a similar number of long-term regrets, older adults feel less anger and frustration when reflecting on those events. Overall, the research highlights how both age and time shape emotional reactions to past decisions.
“Regrets are incredibly common,” says lead author Julia Nolte, PhD, of Tilburg University in the Netherlands. “Almost all of us experience major regrets in our personal and professional lives—from choosing the wrong partner to not completing a degree. The encouraging news is that, for many people, regret feels less negative as they grow older.”
The research was published in the journal Emotion.
In the study, 90 U.S. adults ages 21 to 89 were asked to list up to five recent regrets (within the past year) and up to five long-term regrets. Participants then identified their most significant recent regret and their most significant long-term regret and provided detailed descriptions and ratings for each.
Participants evaluated regrets on factors such as how long ago the event occurred, the emotions it evoked, and how controllable the regret felt—whether they believed they could change the decision or, importantly, change how they feel about it. The survey also asked how participants were coping with their regrets and how they might handle similar situations in the future.
Researchers found that older adults reported fewer recent regrets and described them with less emotional intensity. Older adults were also more likely to report regrets related to missed opportunities—things they did not do—rather than actions they took and later regretted.
The authors note that further research is needed to determine whether these effects stem from the aging process itself or from generational and cultural differences. Additional studies could examine whether regret serves the same psychological purposes across the lifespan or whether those purposes shift with age.
“It is often assumed that regret helps people make better choices in the future,” Nolte adds. “But as people age, regret may provide different benefits, such as a chance to reflect and find meaning in one’s life story.”
Key Questions Answered:
A: This phenomenon is often called the inaction effect. Over time, people tend to rationalize and accept mistakes they actually made, finding explanations or silver linings. Events that never happened—opportunities not taken—remain blank spots in one’s personal history, which can make them easier to idealize and wonder about as people age.
A: This remains an open question. The study suggests that aging may bring improved emotional regulation, but generational differences in upbringing and cultural attitudes toward past mistakes could also play a role. More diverse and longitudinal research is needed to separate age effects from cohort effects.
A: Yes. The research highlights the role of emotional controllability. By working to shift the focus from the regret itself to how one responds emotionally—practicing reflection, reappraisal, and meaning-making—younger adults can adopt strategies that reduce distress and promote growth, similar to patterns more common among older adults.
Editorial Notes:
- This article was edited by a Neuroscience News editor.
- The full journal paper was reviewed.
- Additional context and clarification were provided by staff.
About this aging and psychology research news
Author: Lea Winerman
Source: APA
Contact: Lea Winerman – APA
Image: The image is credited to Neuroscience News
Original Research: Open access.
“Adult Age Differences in the Response to and Regulation of Recent Versus Long-term Regrets” by Nolte, J., Lewis, J. L., & Löckenhoff, C. E. Emotion
DOI: 10.1037/emo0001672
Abstract
Adult Age Differences in the Response to and Regulation of Recent Versus Long-term Regrets
Previous research on age differences in regret and its regulation has not always distinguished the effects of age from the effects of recency—the time elapsed since the regretted event. To fill this gap, the authors collected data from 90 U.S. adults (mean age = 49.81, SD = 18.71; 63% women) who reported their most severe recent and long-term regrets.
The study examined present- and future-oriented regulation strategies, including avoiding decisions, changing decisions, and affect-based approaches. Researchers also considered demographic, socioemotional, health, personality, and cognitive factors, such as perceived control and future time perspective.
For recent regrets, older age was linked to reporting fewer regrets overall, a higher proportion of omission-based regrets (missed opportunities), and fewer interpersonal regrets. Older adults also relied less on affect-based (present-oriented) strategies and on decision alteration (future-oriented) strategies.
For long-term regrets, older adults reported events that were more distant in time, perceived as less controllable, more likely to involve omissions, and less likely to be downregulated. Age differences in perceived control and future time perspective accounted for some of these patterns, and differences in cognition and affect explained several observed age effects, particularly for long-term regrets.
Overall, the findings underscore the importance of distinguishing between recent and long-term regrets when studying age-related differences in emotional response and regulation. The authors note that the sample lacked wide demographic diversity, so the results may not generalize to less-educated or non-White populations.