Summary: Recent research challenges the stereotype that older adults prefer nonsexual companionship. In interviews with single people aged 60 to 83, 97% said sex is an important part of a romantic relationship, and 72% said they would not pursue a relationship that excluded sexual intimacy.
This study shows that many older adults are looking for passionate, physical connections—not just companionship—and that they are willing to adapt to age-related changes to preserve sexual intimacy.
Key facts
- Romance, not only friendship: Numerous participants said a relationship without sex felt like “just a friendship,” emphasizing that physical connection is central to romance.
- Online dating participation: The research focused on 100 single men and women who use online dating platforms, reflecting how many older adults meet potential partners today.
- Adaptation and resilience: Older adults reported openness to medical support, alternative ways of being intimate, and adjusted expectations to maintain satisfying sexual connections despite physical changes.
- Longer single years: With longer lifespans, people who become single at 60 may remain single for decades, which reshapes expectations about long-term partnering and sexual needs.
- Public health considerations: Researchers call for more frank discussions about sexual health and sexually transmitted infections among older adults, a group often overlooked by healthcare systems.
Source: University of New Hampshire
Overview of the study
A University of New Hampshire study published in the Journal of Sex Research examines how single older adults on the dating market think about sex and romantic relationships. Using in-depth, semi-structured interviews with 50 women and 50 men between the ages of 60 and 83, the research explored desires, expectations, and adjustments older daters make to pursue intimacy.
The interviews revealed that sexual intimacy remains a central feature of romantic relationships for most participants. While many recognized the physical and emotional changes that come with aging, they did not view these changes as insurmountable barriers. Instead, they described adapting expectations, using available medical options when appropriate, and finding alternative ways to express closeness and desire.
“This generation of older adults is seeking romance and physical connection,” said Lauren Harris, assistant professor of human development and family studies. “For many participants, a relationship without sexual intimacy felt more like a friendship than a romantic partnership.”
Participants noted practical challenges in the modern dating landscape, including fewer available partners in older age groups—especially for women—and the realities of navigating physical limitations. Nevertheless, the prevailing message from the study is clear: sexual desire and the need for intimate connection persist across later life.
Implications for healthcare and public discourse
Researchers emphasize the importance of addressing sexual health among older adults. As more older people remain single longer or re-enter the dating world after widowhood or divorce, public health messaging, clinical conversations, and sexual education should include older adults’ needs, risk awareness, and access to treatment options. Normalizing conversations about desire, function, and safer-sex practices can help reduce stigma and improve well-being.
Frequently asked questions
Q: Don’t older people mostly want companionship like dinners and movie nights?
A: While companionship is important, the study shows that most participants view sexual intimacy as a defining element of a romantic relationship. For many, friendship alone is not sufficient when they seek a partner.
Q: How do physical changes with age affect sexual relationships?
A: Participants reported that they adapt their expectations and find different ways to maintain intimacy. Medical options, open communication with partners, and creative approaches to closeness help many continue to prioritize sexual connection despite age-related changes.
Q: Why focus on this research now?
A: As lifespans increase and more older adults live extended periods alone after widowhood or divorce, their romantic and sexual needs become a significant social and public health matter. Understanding those needs helps inform healthcare, relationship counseling, and societal attitudes toward aging and desire.
Editorial notes
- This article was edited by an editor at the publication.
- The journal paper was reviewed in full for accuracy.
- Additional context was provided by staff to clarify implications for older adult health and relationships.
About the research and authorship
Author: Robbin Ray
Source: University of New Hampshire
Contact: Robbin Ray – University of New Hampshire
Image credit: Neuroscience News
Original research: “The Shop Is Not Closed: Sex and Sexuality Among Older Adult Daters” by Lauren Harris and Celia Melanson. Journal of Sex Research. DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2026.2614315 (open access).
Abstract
“The Shop Is Not Closed”: Sex and Sexuality Among Older Adult Daters
Older single adults are often mistakenly seen as uninterested in sexual or romantic relationships. This qualitative study explores the desires and expectations of single older adults who are active on the dating market, focusing on how sexual needs shape their search for partners.
Through semi-structured interviews with 100 participants (50 women and 50 men) aged 60–83—average ages 66.8 for women and 65.6 for men—the researchers examined how older adults frame their sexual and romantic desires. Findings show that sexual activity remains an important part of forming romantic relationships, even when participants face age-related sexual difficulties, stereotypes about aging bodies, and fewer available partners.
Both men and women acknowledged the impact of aging on sexual function but viewed those changes as manageable rather than disqualifying. Participants adjusted expectations and sought ways to preserve intimacy. The study challenges ageist assumptions and highlights the need to normalize sexual desire in later life, offering insight into how older adults perceive and prioritize sexual intimacy while navigating the dating market.